


Video Games // Browan Fic

by ultraangst



Category: t@gged
Genre: ... - Freeform, Browan - Freeform, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, ashlisia, ashlisia here too haha, haha i tagged you guys, i dont know what to tag this, i will edit these tags later when i have the strength, ill go home, im browan trash, lets get my soft boy outta jail, love you guys, monkeyman - Freeform, the zoo, this is for the tagged gc on twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-06-08 08:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15239505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultraangst/pseuds/ultraangst
Summary: Brandon Darrow and Rowan Fricks from t@gged. Post S2.-"You picked up this time," he said and she could hear the smile in his voice."You didn't think I would?""Most of the time you don't."-I'm horrible at introductions.Also until I come up with a better title, it's going to be this. Usually I have more time to think about it, but the t@gged gc on Twitter is crazy and needed this.





	1. Chapter 1

(not edited)

The hot New Mexico sun beat down on Rowan as she made her daily trek to Highland High School, the place where all the torment resides. At least, that's how it started. It used to be contained to that one area until six months ago, when everything unraveled at her feet and she became the target for some fucked up cyber attacks.

But, at this point and at this moment, she knows she deserved it. Or, at least, most of it.

Three months following that, it started up again. And that was more unpleasant than the first time.

She deserved that too.

Rowan had been constantly surrounded by empty, gray noise that jumbled up her thoughts and urged her to make stupid decisions. Three months ago, she had made some really stupid choices. She didn't know how she ended up where she did.

Today, however, it was silent. The only thing to be heard was her feet hitting the concrete sidewalk and the occasional bird chirp that disrupted her from her miscellaneous thoughts. Her phone was dead in her pocket-she had forgotten to charge it the night before.

Rowan would deny it, but she spent the whole night scrolling through her old Instagram posts. The new ones from people she used to associate with were pointless, lacking anything that actually mattered.

Nothing really mattered much to her besides Hailey and Elisia. Sometimes she cared about her grades, sometimes not so much. Sometimes she cared about other things too. People.

But she didn't talk about it to Hailey or Elisia.

Jake was there too but Rowan wasn't sure for how much longer. She had been really closed off to him and she didn't think he cared anymore.

Or course he cared, to some extent, but he wasn't putting any effort into their relationship. Rowan wouldn't consider them together, but they weren't necessarily not together.

She had come to the conclusion-a long time ago-that labels were bullshit.

Rowan dug her dead phone out of her back pocket and twirled it in her hands, distracting herself from everything else. It was better than nothing. She found that if she spent too much time thinking about everything that happened, she would drown in it.

Maybe she deserved what happened earlier in the year, but she knew she didn't need to torture herself anymore than the world already was.

The roar of a truck interrupted her thoughts. Startled, she dropped her phone on the sidewalk. Rowan whipped her head around to see the little fucker with a smug grin on his face.

"Hey, Carrie!" an obnoxious Trevor shouted from his blue truck. He had pulled up next her and pushed the passenger door open from his spot. "Want a ride?"

"Fuck off, asshole," she shouted and shoved her phone back in her pocket. She didn't refuse his offer though and hopped into his truck.

"You know you love me," he said and chucked her copy of "The Great Gatsby" at her face as she slammed the door shut.

"Thanks," she said and shoved it quickly in her bag, hoping he wouldn't notice the green stuffed animal in it. She set the bag down by her feet and slunk into the leather chair.

"Thank you for letting me borrow it. You saved my ass. Again," he said with a slight smile and looked over at her.

Trevor was an asshole, but he and Rowan had warmed up to each other in a way that was different from anyone else. They were allies in a sense. He didn't torment her like he used to and she didn't hold any resentment towards him. Bygones.

"You're lucky I had it," she laughed and looked out the window, "I read that book in middle school." The last part she mumbled, but he heard it still.

"I'm sorry we're not all overachievers like you, Rowan Fricks," he scoffed and turned down the road Highland resided on.

She narrowed her eyes on him and then said, "You didn't read it at all, did you?"

He shook his head furiously and said, "No, I did not."

Rowan laughed only to be cut off by him catching himself.

"But I did read the Spark Notes."

Trevor said it rather cheerfully, as if it was something to be proud of. At the red light he turned to look at her and said, "You cut all of your hair off."

"You're observant today," she remarked slyly, trying to undermine him. "What is it horrible?"

"No, I just-" the light turned green and he began driving again. Trevor nervously tapped on the wheel with his fingers only to say, "Are you okay?"

"Yep. I'm great," she lied, however the lie wasn't present in her voice. Trevor was truly convinced that the girl beside him was fine.

And that was about the end of their conversation.

When he pulled his blue truck into school, she casually hopped out and walked the opposite direction of him.

That was the daily routine. She would sulk. He would call her "Carrie", insist she hop in his truck, make small talk with her (about things he didn't really care about), and then they would get to class, avoiding each other at all cost.

They weren't friends, they really didn't even like each other, but they were allies.

\---

Time seemed to fly a lot faster in class for Rowan.

It was a blur of people and paper and pens. Kind of pointless.

It was all the same.

Every single day. 

She mostly kept her eyes in a book or on her classwork. She didn't divert her attention to her phone anymore. If she learned one thing throughout the trials and tribulations of the last six months, it was that she needed to focus less on social media and more on the things that really mattered. Like getting into a good college. And best friends. They came first.

Of the three girls, Hailey was the one who was at the most peace.Rowan wasn't going to lie, she was dead jealous. She had an amazing boyfriend, Hawk, and she was acing assignments left and right.

Yep, definitely jealous.

Elisia, on the other hand, was going through a downward spiral. She was failing two classes and barely got any sleep due to her estranged work hours. The girl was more tired than anything.

Ash had woken up from his coma a month after being hospitalized. After that, he was wheelchair bound and dependent on Elisia for nearly everything.

Elisia claimed to Rowan that the physical therapy was helping Ash, but Rowan wasn't seeing any signs of a full recovery. Elisia didn't like to talk about it much and Rowan assumed it was because it scared the hell out of her to think that Ash would never find his way back to her. 

Whenever the girls talked about it (which was close to never), Elisia always said, "At least he's still alive."

No one could argue that.

"How'd you do on the Dawson test?" Rowan asked Hailey as she passed Elisia half of her sandwich.

They crowded around the same lunch table everyday and had rehearsed, mundane topics to discuss. The conversation was forced and awkward, which they all knew and somehow that made it better. If the girls wanted to talk about Ash or The Zoo or the cult looming over their heads, they could have, but the topics never came up. It hurt too much.

"I got a 93, what about you?" Hailey said, opening the floor to Elisia and Rowan.

Elisia shrugged and said, "60. I didn't read the book." The skinny brunette took a bite out of Rowan's sandwich and stared down at her phone, probably sending a message to Ash.

Hailey turned to Rowan and raised her brows, curious to why she hadn't said anything.

"Oh, I got a 70," she said somewhat quietly. "Don't know how-I've read the book a thousand times..."

"S'okay, Row. You were probably just having one of those days. And it's not like it is going to kill your grade," Hailey said confidently.

"Yeah..." Rowan said and turned back to Elisia, who was deeply engaged in her phone. "How are you doing?"

Rowan tucked her fist under her chin and leaned in to rest her head on Elisia's shoulder. It was meant to be comforting, but she didn't know if was coming off that way. Elisia pulled away slightly.

This caught Hailey's attention, and she would have said something if Hawk hadn't come up behind her and captured her lips with a kiss.

"Hey, beautiful," he says when he pulls away. "Want to study at my place after school?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her, suggesting studying wouldn't be the agenda, and sat down with his back to yhe other girls, as if he wasn't planning on staying there long.

"Yeah. I'd like that," she said without hesitation.

Hawk clutched the strap of his bag, effortlessly turned to Rowan and Elisia to say, "Hello, ladies," and then walked away without another word.

He didn't seem to like hanging around Rowan and Elisia ever. When he came around them, his words were brief and not really filled with anything else but a greeting. Hailey liked him a lot though, maybe even loved him. It was obvious so Rowan and Elisia tended to keep their mouths shut.

The way Hailey looked at him...it wasn't something that either of the girls could mess with, especially when they were in no position to judge her. And why should they? Hawk seemed like a great guy for her.

Rowan would've denied her jealously about that too, if someone asked.

Elisia set her phone down, face up, and turned to Rowan.

"I'm okay," she murmured. "I promise. I'm just stressed."

"I know," Rowan said and rubbed Elisia's back. Hailey reached out for Elisia's hand, a gesture of safety and comfort. They all loved each other so much and nothing could get between that. Not Hawk, not Dunbar, not the Zoo. Nothing could. Not even time or space.

"It sucks to say, but I could care less about school right now. And this is the worst time of my life to have that mentality but..." Elisia let her words float off into the air and didn't finish the sentence she so desperately wanted to complete.

"I'll be okay," she said and rested her head on Rowan's shoulder, forgetting about her hesitance moments ago.

These three were solid. After everything they've been through, they had to be. That was how they survived this long.

It was a rather quiet time for the trio.

They basked in the New Mexican sun and in the warmth that they had to offer each other until Elisia and Hailey's phones dinged. Rowan's phone would've done that had it not been dead in her pocket still.

The three girls all went tense, frozen with terror. Their phones hadn't done that in months. It could have been a coincidence, but they all knew better than that.

"What's it say?" Rowan asked with her head turned away from them, already trying to see if they were being watched.

"Oh, it's just Stinger," Hailey said with her brows knitted together, eyes peeled on the message, like she was trying to decrypt it.

"And?" Rowan asked, finally looking at her friends.

"He wants to meet," Elisia said and handed her phone to Rowan.

Stinger: Need you to come here. Now.

She didn't really get it. None of the girls had spoken to him in months, not since Brie got back. When all there problems seemed to me solved, and the cuts were healed, they didn't need him. Any tech thing went straight to Brie. What could Stinger possibly need from them now?

A chill ran down Rowan's spine as she thought about her last conversation with him.

"Well...let's go," Elisia said and collected her bag. Rowan followed suit, quickly shoving a book she had been reading in her bag.

For a moment, Rowan thought Elisia caught sight of the soft green material in it, but if she had, she didn't say anything.

When Hailey didn't get up, Rowan said, "You coming?"

"I have a test in seventh...I don't wanna miss it," she said slowly. Hailey was clearly not going to move. "I just don't..."

"It's fine," Elisia said quickly and latched her hand on to Rowan. "Don't worry about it. Good luck on your test."

Rowan let out an exhale, a mixture of annoyance, knowing that this would come up again.

While they were a trio, there was a definite line drawn through them. Hailey was on one side of it while Elisia and Rowan were on the other.

Once they were out of Hailey's range of sound, Elisia said, "It's probably better without her right now. She's shoving her happiness down our throats."

Rowan waited a little bit before saying, "She needs this, Elisia. She isn't trying to hurt us and you fucking know that. Hailey deserves this."

That shut Elisia up pretty quick until they got into her scrappy little car-the one that Jake somehow pulled money together for. That was where she said it.

"What about us, Row? What do we deserve?"

She didn't know the answer and she probably never would.

\---

The duo walked into Stinger's temple with little conversation between them. Rowan didn't know what to say to her, knowing that nothing could sway Elisia's mind. She was too stubborn for her own good. And too fragile.

They entered the graffiti-filled church blindly, not knowing what to expect from Stinger and honestly, Rowan feared that she couldn't trust him anymore. Not when Brie was back.

"You're still fucking weird, Stinger," Elisia called up into the rafters hoping to see the strange manchild.

"Ah, you're here!" he said from the balcony with a computer in hand. He disappeared only to reappear a few moments later, climbing down the stairs in an effort to get to them. "Where's Blondie?"

"She couldn't make it," Elisia said quickly and took swift steps to the front of the church.

Rowan crossed her arms and hesitantly followed him to his labyrinth of computers.

"This place hasn't changed much," Elisia said, staring up at the ceiling like she expected it to be something it wasn't.

"Neither have you," he chuckled. It wasn't a natural laugh, Rowan thought. It was forced and uneven, something she had never seen or heard from Stinger.

"Why are we here?" Rowan asked with her arms still crossed. Elisia instinctively moved closer to her. Stinger's smile fell pretty quickly and he slumped into his chair.

He picked up a rubber yellow ball and began squeezing it in his hands.

"So I was on the World Wide Web and I-"

"Just cut to the chase, Stinger," Rowan said in a frustrated tone.

Stinger exhaled deeply, sat back in his chair on wheels and said, "Brandon is being released in a week."

Silence.

The weight of that statement sunk deep in Rowan's chest. She would see him again.

"From the digging I've done, he's returning to your school the following week. The bastard is getting out."

Elisia stayed quiet, watching Rowan's every move, every flinch.

Rowan never told girls about the brief moments she spent with Brandon those months ago. She never told Elisia or Hailey. What would they think of her if she did? Besides, before now, those moments were in the past and they wouldn't have mattered to anyone but her.

"How is that even possible?" Elisia asked and looked at the files open on the computer, as if the complexity of it would give her the answers she wanted.

"Back to our school? The place he supposedly wants to shoot up? He didn't even get the full six months of observation? And what about-"

"Doesn't matter. They are letting him off," Stinger said to Elisia and set the yellow ball back down, defeated. 

"Why?" Rowan asked.

"Overcrowding and it seems that your boy was behaving himself in there. And..." Stinger trailed off. "Well, I'll just show you."

He began frantically typing until he came to a loading page. It was a forever loading dial. The thing that everyone in this day and age hated. The fated loading screen. Round and round, never ending.

"A week ago, this was a database that collected every bit of dirt on Highland students. Everything from Brandon's case to Nicki's suicide to Dunbar six months ago. And, of course, things before that to even when your parents were in school. I can't access it. Brie probably couldn't access it. No one can," he said and leaned back, watching the rotations.

"So what does that mean?" Elisia asked nervously.

"It means that they don't have anything. There's no proof of Brandon wanting to shoot up the school, only the stuff that exists in people's minds. And honestly, they don't care about a kid who didn't actually do anything."

It's true. Brandon didn't actually do anything besides traumatize a couple of girls.

And he tried to fix it, Rowan thought.

That's true too. He did.

"How does the government lose files?" Rowan asked and the moment it was out, she knew that was a stupid question. Stinger still scoffed and said, "The government fucks up more than we would like to think. They're all idiots."

There is a moment of quiet until he disrupted it with more distasteful news.

"That's not all. The website of fifty King Cobras is alive and a complete cluster fuck. They're sending out viruses-really fucked up ones-might I add. Anyone who goes on gets a spam of pictures too-"

"What pictures?" Rowan asked thoughtlessly.

Stinger bit his lip, collected his hands in his lap, and said, "It's pictures of Nicki...in the bathtub."

"What?" Elisia asked in shock. The air in Rowan's lungs had been sucked out of her.

"After she's dead, they took pictures. That's what the site is filled with. That and the viruses."

Rowan understood the concept of revenge. It was when one felt they needed to harm another because it would justify the pain they felt themselves. She understood that.

However, what sick fuck would do this to Nicki? They tortured her, killed her, and then, even after that's all done, ruined her image once again on some fucked up website. For what purpose?

"I need to tell my dad-"

"No," Stinger said firmly and stood up. Something in him terrified her into submission. Elisia sensed it to.

"What do you mean "no"? I've let this slip through my fingers for too long. We were finally at peace," she said and the words crumbled to the ground.

That's a lie, she told herself.

"Have they interacted with you? Sent you messages? Or pictures? No. You were completely clueless until I said something. We need to keep it that way. Right now, they aren't doing anything in the physical world, I just wanted you to be aware-"

"Oh please," Elisia said, rolling her eyes at both of them. "They are doing things in the physical world. All the files on Highland students are gone? They disappeared and just poofed? "The Zoo" or "the Cult" or "whoever-the-fuck" did that. They hacked the system, trashed the files, and are quite literally letting their leader escape prison. It all comes back to Brandon-"

Stinger cut her off with her name. "Elisia," and then, "chill."

Rowan nervously latched onto her necklace, the infinity sign that she had Macgyver-ed back together. Infinity. Endless.

This torture was infinite.

"The police are dropping the case? Just like that?" Elisia asked, feeling angry more than anything.

Stinger snapped his fingers.

"Just like that."

And then they left.

\---

"Damn it. Please pick up."

He muttered to himself as he tapped his fingers on the wall beside him. The officer breathing down his neck wasn't helping. He felt sick to his stomach.

After a couple of rings, she picked up the phone.

The operator began to drone.

"This is a collect call from-" it waited for him to say his name.

"Brandon Darrow," he said quickly, wishing that he could just talk to her. Why his voice was shaking, he didn't know.

"Do you accept this call?" The operator asked her.

Brandon waited a moment.

Rowan thought about it.

"Yes," she said into the receiver. "I accept." 

There was a click, signalling that it was just the two of them.

They sat in silence for moment.

And then-

"You picked up this time," he said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"You didn't think I would?"

"Most of the time you don't."

\---

OOOOOOHHHHH SHIT,,,,,, I'M BACK ON MY BULLSHIT bwahahahaha. guys seriously my writing got so bad. i think it is because i haven't done this in months. (also if you're here because of my chriseva fic, i am sorry for being trash).

My writing will get better as I get more in touch with these characters I create. A lot of what I write in here will be based off the weird ass t@gged gc on twitter and pictures from on set of s3.

Please send me (SPECIFIC) ideas or things that you NEED to see from this fic in the comments. I would greatly appreciate it. All of your ideas help.

You can find me on:

Instagram-@/ang.xt

Twitter-@/ultraangst

Youtube-@/ultraangst

Tellonym-@/ultraangst

Tumblr-@/ultraangst

It is literally just a bunch of angst haha.

Much love,

Avery

P-fucking-S:

THAT ENDING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE NOT DETAILED AT ALL LITERALLY I WILL GIVE YOU QUALITY BROWAN IM JUST BUILDING IT UP RN SO LIKE SORRY SORRY SORRY IF YOU ARENT BEING FED RN


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowan flashback and the introduction of Fishy.  
> Brandon and Rowan talk on the phone.  
> Trevor and Rowan truck talks.  
> A lot of talks in this chapter.  
> Oh and Rowan feels like shit.

(not edited)

Two Months Earlier 

Rowan

It was about an hour after school ended when I found myself walking to 1696 Chandler Hollow Road. There wasn't a light on in the house and the car that used to sit in the driveway didn't. I wouldn't have been surprised if Brandon's deadbeat dad was sitting in a bar somewhere, wasting away. It's not like I gave a shit about the bastard anyway. 

I found myself rubbing-no-grinding my fingers into the back of my neck and looking over my shoulder, expecting to see someone frowning at my terrible decisions. I checked my phone for any notifications from my dad. There were none. 

Taking a deep breath, I walked to the nearly abandoned house until I was close enough to peer into the front window. I checked inside just in case the bastard was there and the car just got repossessed by the bank. 

He wasn't splayed out on the couch, so I took that as a good sign that he was actually gone. 

Still, I tiptoed cautiously around the house, opened the rickety gate, and stepped through it, opening up to the rather small backyard. I turned in the direction of Brandon's window and peered in. 

What are you doing, Rowan? I thought to myself when I opened the window to his room. It was unlocked, just asking to be broken into. 

I was literally breaking and entering. 

I shoved the heavy window up over my head and pulled myself through the dark room. Light shone through the window, revealing the room untouched by Brandon for a few weeks now. It had not been that long, however it felt like a lifetime since someone had actually been in it. 

The bed was made and everything was put together. From my first impression of the room, it was the complete opposite. Either Brandon cleaned it or his father, but the latter seemed highly unlikely. 

I peeked around quieter than a mouse. The door was closed tight and I walked to it, inevitably pressing my ear to it, hoping to not hear any life on the inside. There was none. His father wasn't home. 

I exhaled and took a few steps back, not really sure why I had even showed up. I knew that it was a mistake showing up here and that nothing I did now would fix what happened. Brandon deserved a lot of shit, but jail time wasn't one of those things. 

I did that to him. 

The choice fell on me as most of the decisions did. 

A month ago, I was just so angry at him, that he would betray me like he did. He did this to me. He caused this fear and I hated him for it. 

And yet...

He was trying to fix it, at least that's what he told me. 

And I believed him except I believed him far too late.

There isn't a way I can make it better now. Maybe throw in a few good words with my dad, but we weren't really talking right now. 

"Why are you such a fucking idiot?" I asked Brandon's room as if it would respond to me. 

I hold my hands to my chest, looking around, kind-of awkwardly, I should add. I felt so out of place and I knew I shouldn't be there. I wasn't welcome. Not the first time and especially not this time. 

I would've left in that moment too, if my eye hadn't caught sight of the green stuffed animal by his bed. 

So I took it and left, with a silent promise in my heart to return it when I saw him again.

\---

Present Day

"Most of the time you don't," he said breathlessly in to the phone. My heart clenched in my chest. I shouldn't have accepted this call. It only makes me miss him, even though I know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve this uncertain pull in my chest. 

"You're getting out," I murmured into the receiver. There wasn't much else I wanted to say, nothing I really needed to say. 

"Yeah," he said. I could almost imagine him leaning against the wall with his head tilted in some sort of way, waiting for me to say something to give him hope. 

"I've said it once and I'll say it again," he takes a deep breath, and then, "Rowan, you know I didn't do the stuff they said I did. The shit on my laptop wasn't mine-"

"I know," I said rather quickly. I probably shouldn't have though. How would I know anything? "It doesn't matter anyway."

"But it does...I'm not like that." His voice cracked in a way that put a crack in my own heart. "I've done shitty things. I've hurt you and I know you can never forgive me, but I don't want to hurt anyone. Not like that. I'm not crazy, I just..." 

His voice seemed to fray out. I wasn't clinging to anything he was saying. It just floated into the air around me and I was trapped in my thoughts. 

Sure, he was getting out of there and somewhat fixing his life. Nevertheless, I fucked it up. 

It was my choice, and honestly, it was mine alone. It was betray Brandon or betray my girls and I made the wrong one. 

"I've gotta go," I muttered awkwardly, hating myself more than I could ever hate him. I hated him because he made me fucking care about him. "Bye-"

"Rowan-" he starts, begging clear in his voice. It doesn't matter though because I've already ended the call. 

His stupid stuffed frog stares at me on my bed, looking at me with it's stupid smile, haunting me and reminding me what I did to Brandon. It reminds me how I ruined his life and no matter how hard he worked, his sentence would always linger over his head like a guillotine. 

\---

The next day I woke up to the droning of my alarm. It was too early to deal with what the world had waiting for me. I rolled over to shut the damn thing off, only to find a text from Trevor. 

Trevor: Picking you up at your place. See you in 10.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath. He had sent that eight minutes ago. 

In record time, I was able to get clothed and run a brush through my hair. A moment later there was a knocking on the door and the shape of Trevor's stupid hair on the other side of it. 

I opened it and was ready to give him a mouthful, but there was a glare in his eyes that beckoned me not to give him a hard time. 

"Why are you here?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't notice that I literally just got up. 

"Wanted to talk..." he rocked on his heels in a childlike manner and said, "can I come in?" 

I groaned and stepped out of the way, letting my acquaintance enter my home. 

"I'm not ready to go, can you wait a few minutes?" I raised my brows in his direction, only to be met with an awkward nod. He threw himself onto my couch and played on his phone. This was fucking weird. 

Around ten minutes later, I emerge from my room, bag in hand and ready to conquer the world. I briskly walk past Trevor, hinting for him to follow me. My back is to him, putting two pieces of bread into the toaster, when he says, "Have you talked to your mom?"

It was strange. We desperately tried to avoid the topic of our parents. It was just another level in our relationship that I didn't want to cross. 

"No...why?" I turn to face him and his face fell. 

"Err..." he really didn't want to say whatever he had to say.

"What...?" I asked with brows to the ceiling. 

"They're getting married," he rushes out, "at least that's what he told me yesterday. I assumed your mom would've told you."

"Oh," was all I could manage. What else could I say? 

"Yeah..." he said. 

I hated that it didn't bother me that much. The only thing that was a little unsettling was the fact that Trevor and I would be step-siblings. 

"So does that make us like siblings now or something..." I said only to be startled by the toast popping out. 

"Guess so," he said. "Sorry I just told you like that. I needed to talk to someone though and you're kind of the only person who knows how I feel." 

That thought was unsettling in itself. The one person in the world who really understood how I was feeling was Trevor. Trevor. 

And then I thought about my dad. The idea of my mother getting married would break his heart. That hurt me more than anything else. 

"Shit," I murmur and lean on my kitchen counter. Trevor awkwardly looked at me. 

"Yeah..." 

And that was the end of that discussion. 

It wasn't until they pulled into Highland High that Rowan asked, "Are you going to get Brandon? Next week?" 

He sighed, as if relieved that I asked.

"Yeah, Sean and I." 

"Good," I say with a slight nod, relieved that it wouldn't have to be me. Its not that his shitty father would. "I'm glad you're doing that."

With that, I rip open the door to the truck. A fire opens up inside of me that has never been there. I am getting eaten with guilt. I really ruined Brandon's life. I feel these feelings for him and then I always remember that I've ruined him when all he wanted to do was protect me. 

"Rowan-" Trevor starts but I've slammed the door in his face and I'm already rushing to first period. 

Guilt is going to eat at me for the rest of my life and I don't think I have the courage to own up to it. 

\---


End file.
